Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
