i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
