Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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