hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
