Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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