Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
