why didn't you poke me back
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
