I hate all girls vehemently.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
