She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So many bounce houses so little time
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
