Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
