Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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