i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Randomize
