Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
