Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
