Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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