Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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