Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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