used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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