What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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