I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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