I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
