There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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