We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
