nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
