so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
