sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
