you traded sex for a burrito?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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