So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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