i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize