yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
In America we eat man semen.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
