Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
