the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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