I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
