1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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