As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
