the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
