Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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