It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
