I think my vagina is haunted
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
