went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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