That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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