I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
