haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
