I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
