I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
