i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize