I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
