i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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