my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
