somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
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