So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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