My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
