Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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