Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
